The Martian has probably been my favourite read of the year so far. Yes, even over Queen of Shadows. It’s that good. So when I saw the trailer for the movie I analysed the fuck out of it. I was sceptical, to say the least. I wasn’t entirely sure Matt Damon was the right choice for Mark Watney – aka my future husband – and I didn’t know if the writers and director would get the humour. Plus, the trailer implied that Mark was married with children. Bro. But – and it’s a big but – I LOVED IT. FIVE STARS. MARK WATNEY 4 PRESIDENT.
I came out of the cinema crying. I had to go and sit in the bathroom and pull myself together, because I just loved the entire thing so, so much. Matt Damon was awesome. The humour was awesome. The supporting characters were awesome. EVERYTHING WAS AWESOME.
So Mark Watney is one of my favourite characters ever. The guy is stuck on freakin’ MARS and he is constantly getting fucked over, but that doesn’t stop him from losing hope and trying his best to survive and get off the planet. He’s also hilarious and his sense of humour is unbeatable. I would marry him in a heartbeat. In fact, I don’t know why he’s still single. They pulled this off SO. WELL. in the movie, and while I would have added some stuff that had been left out from the book, I wouldn’t have changed his character at all. Also, that scene where he loses all the weight CRIES FOREVER.
What other characters? Ehem. I’ll take off my stanning goggles for just a moment. So I really liked the insight we get into the other characters, especially the rest of Watney’s crew. We see them more in the beginning of the movie than we do in the beginning of the book.
So we have the crew consisting of Lewis (queeeeeen), Johanssen, Beck, and Vogel. All were adorable, and we got a decent insight into who they were as astronauts and space explorers. Of course, the movie didn’t delve too much into their personal lives, but I didn’t really care. The movie is about Watney and also humanity as a whole, not a crew of astronauts and their love lives.
AND RICH PURNELL OMG GUYS. That steely-eye missile man.
Then there’s Ned Stark, who I didn’t really care about because even though I had read the book I kept expecting him to die. Park and Sanders, the latter of which needed to get a grip.
MATT DAMON WAS AWESOME AND I AM SO SORRY FOR EVER DOUBTING HIM I WAS SO WRONG AND I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES. Damon pulled Mark Watney off flawlessly and now I don’t think anyone else could play the role.
I also liked the Sebastian Stan appearance because HELLO, Winter Soldier.
Okay, so there were a couple of moments where I was a bit like “okay can we get back to Mark now I need to see my bb” or “can we just get on with it”, but as a whole The Martian is a thrilling and wholly engaging movie. I was on the edge of my seat pretty much the entire time, and I think the main reason that I was wanting it to pick up the pace was because I was dying for the ending to happen. DYING.
The only thing I would change is the fact that in the book, Watney gets a bit lost towards the end and it’s kind of like D: whaaaaat, but that didn’t happen in the movie. Probably because the ending ripped your heart out as it was. Oh and the arm propeller was WEIRD. Nope.
I loved the edition of the “epilogue” where Mark is teaching a class. And all the hands go up and I would have legit used that as an opportunity to propose.
I also don’t like Ned Stark but oh well, I was able to ignore him.
- All of it.
- Especially: “Every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. If a hiker gets lost in the mountains, people coordinate a search. If an earthquake levels a city, people all over the world send emergency supplies. This instinct is found in every culture, without exception.”
Okay, to be more specific:
- “I’m going to science the shit out of this!”
- “I ran out of ketchup.”
- Watney losing weight because my bb.
- Watney saying anything.
- THE ENDING THERE WERE TEARS EVERYWHERE
- China helping out because yaaaaaassssss
- Rich Purnell is a steely-eye missile man.
- THE VOTE WAS UNANIMOUS THEY ARE SAVING THEIR BOY
- im ok
in a gif